Sunday, March 7, 2010
Where's Justin when you need him?
Haven’t blogged in a while because it would not have been pretty. Mom had bad episode and was hospitalized and is now in a nursing home. Guess what? She’s as happy as a little clam now that she is feeling better. For the first time in a long time she is active, social and receiving round the clock care. So what's the problem? The usual: the rest of the fam and the process to assisted living that everyone in the world recommended a few years ago. The strong recommendation is that she not go home at all due to the need for 24/7 monitoring.
Equally frustrating is being told what a shitty daughter I am by a family members. I’m so shitty I could write a laundry list of things I have done and arranged for my mom that would make most STNA’s cry, the time taken off, wages lost, tears, anger, things my child has missed out on, but why? To defend myself? I’ve done that and it is NEVER enough. The hardest part about all of this has been having to work through issues and deal with people that I would rather not have in my life. People that think it's just fine if the children are molested (yes, I'm writing this) and we overlook it. People who are emotionally and mentally abusive as hell then if you dare to speak out - you're the one with the problem. You know the drill: Family first, respect your elders, family, family effing family.
My ma is not the problem - it's her rotten to the roots family members who have informed me that I am to come home every weekend (it's about an hour away)to relieve them of their duties if my mom comes home. I already go home anyway, but Fri-Mon morning with these people? No. I've made peace with my relationship with my mom. I love her, but she needs to be where I live. Until then I will go home weekly, but not the way they want it. I miss my Dad. He couldn't stand my mom's family either. And my child cannot be infected with their insanity. And guess what? My mom wants to be independent and does NOT want them hovering over her all damn time. Why? Cause as they treat her like she's a burden they put up with because they love her. They treat her like she's an errant child and talk down to her...
This site has become something it was not meant to be - whatever. Consider it my way of not ending up on Dateline for tying up, anally tasering some folks, and torturing them by forcing them to listen to Justin Beiber music on an endless loop.