Sunday, May 16, 2010

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The X Chronicles: Facebook Fail

Some of you may recall this post. I never really followed up on that. Long story short, the Ex's manager pulled several moves that to this day rank in the Evil Hall of Shame. This man called me at work numerous times, sent texts, hounded a friend of mine, found out her work number and called her - all to convince me child support would only make the Ex miserable.

I finally responded to him and called him a Plantation Negro. He promptly emailed me warning me that I would regret that response. He then proceeded to (same day) file a complaint stating that I stalked him, came to my office to complain to my boss that I harassed him and emailed me a nasty missive. The end result of all of that dumbfuckery: I'm still employed, the case was dismissed because he never showed up for court. The magistrate was pissed at the waste of time when I showed him the print outs of the emails, saved texts, and put the voice mails on speaker phone.

That story is relevant here because just when I was beginning to trust people again along comes something to remind me - no, I should not. Last week I received a series of disturbing messages on Facebook regarding Mr. X. Came off as jealous ex-girlfriend. I let Mr. X know - his reaction? Cold as fucking ice. I had deleted him as a friend on FB because it was going nowhere fast, but I still liked him and wanted to be friends offline. Something about seeing the dude you're crushing on interact with other women...Meh. I call that rational, he calls it childish. So he accused me of masterminding this. Yes, extraordinary bitchassness was displayed. He never could quite come up with a rational reason as to why this would be the case. Instead, he just left me floundering feeling like shit with some crazy woman he pissed off ranting about other women I have only cursory knowledge of.

If you've ever had anyone try to access your personal info - you know what a violation that is. This woman also threatened to "out my ass." If you are a close personal friend - you may find that amusing. Again, where was Mr. X in all of this? Silent. No apology. I get it - I dodged a bullet. He's an ass, but did I really need that shit right now? No. I did not.

So, here's to the two of you Mr. & Mrs. X: Happy Outings.

Sometimes You Have to Go There.

More on this later...

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Extreme Randomness

So I'm over on Facebook and I happen across a reference to lace fronts. So I do a bit of googling because, although I know these are wigs, I've never actually seen one...or had I?

Check out this slice of WTF from

As remarkable as the technology is, these wigs are not without their imperfections. The attachment can be visible to the eye and can come unattached due to sweat or highly expressive facial movements. Just raising one's eyebrows can cause the "line of demarcation" to show because the glue can be stiff and does not move with the skin on ones forehead.

h/t Bougie Applebum

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The X Chronicles: RIP Superman

I cannot swim. One summer, my uncle took us to the local pool in Atlanta and asked one of the lifeguards if he could teach me to swim. Normally, I would have flailed around like a fish on a hook, but the man swimming toward me was a superhero. He was Christopher Reeve's doppelganger, and to my seven-year old self he WAS Superman.
So there I was, confident in his abilities and totally trusting him to teach me to swim.

We began with learning to float. He told me to stretch out, relax and put my head back in the water and promised not to let me drown. I sank like a rock.

There are no superhero's.