Sunday, September 6, 2009
Why are Black Women So Pissed?
I've been standing back watching the shit storm brewing around Jimi Izrael and his recent The Root.com blog posts. As a black woman, I understand the reactions that are pouring forth, but he's one man. One woman tweeted that she would rather perform fellatio on all the white men in Ohio than date Jimi. Really sister? Cos, damn, that's a little disturbing not to mention totally unhygienic.
I grew up in a town, in a neighborhood that was very integrated. Integrated as in black and white. More precisely - black men with white women was/is a common phenomenon. Even more common was the "black women ain't shit, are evil bitches, etc." sentiment. Not only didn't I buy into the nothing but a black man hype - I found it amusing that the majority of black women still did.
See, I don't hate black men or even dislike them. My father (the best man ever) was black. And if I take a honest look at the men I've dated, the one's who were the kindest were black. Why am I not married to one of them? Timing.
I date men who WANT to date me, that I have things in common with, have fun with, can talk to, and I'm attracted to. This means I've dated the rainbow because I am open to it. I'm not going to go sit and cry in a corner cos a black man wants someone that does not look like me. And if that is his clear preference, what would I want with him anyway? And any black woman that buys into the all black men are dogs doctrine, therefore the white or any other race of man is your savior - you're in for a rude awakening.
Psst: Sisters - a word please?
Just like you've learned that not all black men have a large penis (sorry black men, I know ya'll cling to that stereotype like a damn life raft) different means different, not better. Men are men, people are people, and issues are still issues. Love who is going to love you.
Right now I have chosen to take myself out of the dating scene. I wouldn't dare present myself to someone right now as a potential mate. Until I work through my issue of wanting to find my throw rotten fruit at any stage my deadbeat trifling' ass ex is on...see what I mean?
Since moving home, I have hit up the local bakery (shout out to Schuler's!) way too damn often and when I needed to hit the gym. I know what I'm working with - I'm cute (shout out to me in all my cuteness) have a degree, and a relatively successful career with great benefits. What I do not have is stability or peace. That's a process that I'm in the middle of. Trying to work through the all of the death, illness, crazy, toxic mofos, anger, sadness, and disappointment by myself isn't working. I would consult Deepak if I was chillin' in LA, but I'm going to have to visit a local instead.
In the meantime, I'm going to pop some corn and continue watching this great debate.