Saturday, July 25, 2009
The Weather Report: Part 2
Is closure necessary when ending a friendship? One commenter and several friends think that you should never walk away without discussing the reasons for doing so. Let's examine two different situations and how you think you would react.
Situation 1: You're driving down the road when another driver is forced to swerve into your lane. Your car is banged up, but otherwise you are fine.
Situation 2: You're standing on the sidewalk chatting with someone from work. A friend walks up to you and slaps you in the face.
What's your reaction? Personally, only the first situation calls for discussion, exchange of information and understanding. The other situation? Someone deliberately went out of their way to hurt you. Does it matter if they had a bad day, a bad year? That mofo just slapped you. Do you really want to sit down over a latte and work out your feelings? Didn't think so.
Misery loves company. Stormy Weather friends are not the same as "Ride or Die Friends" although that mistake is very easy to make. Trust me. Are Fair Weather and SWF's friends really friends at all? No. A true friend remains so in every circumstance - not just when it fulfills their needs. Let's be clear: the needs being met are not yours, and you are not engaged in a friendship. Self-service is the name of the game here. Sometimes it takes a brick (hell, an entire high-rise) to fall on one's head to see the truth. I spent years in a one of these despite every other friend, God, and my mamma telling me to let it go. I eventually walked away, but not without some craziness on her part. I wonder why I didn't notice the signs before.