That really should not be said to another person. Clearly the decision to return home (my adopted home) has been a difficult one. I never wanted to go back to my hometown in the first place. I hate it there more than words can ever express. If you read the "Craptastic" post, it is clear there are some issues there. That being said, I have our local Area on Aging coming in to do an assessment tomorrow. My mother should be able to get meals delivered, transportation, and someone to come in and help her. She will also be able to obtain adaptive equipment. Is it enough? I don't think so. It is pretty well documented that I feel she needs 24/7 supervision. I will come home at least once a week to visit and make sure she is getting what she needs.
This week I had to stay out of town for two nights (that's a whole other post and quite funny, but not now). When I called my fam to let them know, no one offered assistance of any kind, but they did feel the need to have my mom spend the night. That decision told me two things. The first: It is clear they think she needed the supervision. The second: They think I need to be there with her at night. To both of those things I would say: Assisted living, assisted living, assisted living, oh, and assisted living. No one hears that though. Nope, everyone would rather we gamble for the 10 hours I am gone for the day and I come home and never leave.
The point of the post? Well, several people have given me the "you're a shitty daughter" look. And one said to me, "Oh, you're coming back, even though you know what will happen?" Yeah, people are entitled to their opinions. I just wish they would keep them to them-fucking-selves. Or, maybe I'll just keep it between me and my shrink. How 'bout that?
I take care of my cousin's grandmother at least six nights a week for as little as one hour a night to spending the night..
ReplyDeleteWhen I go out or don't feel like going over, her children feel as though I'm slacking on my job. ( But I don't get paid a cent.)
My advice? Do what you can do and don't worry about the rest.
The last few post have been grammar fails. Sorry.
ReplyDelete@UGB: Thanks for the advice. I'm feeling better now. As my friend JTC says: Sometimes it is what it is.
Crazy how her kids are not doing their share, yet they are comfortable enough with you doing all of the work. Your cousin's grandmother is blessed to have you.