tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713119478510920016.post7267726774768466910..comments2023-10-31T04:32:36.587-04:00Comments on Two Exes and Several Zeros: Sperm meets EggKSThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02594832284191260116noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713119478510920016.post-56212549020066259032009-07-06T18:30:15.774-04:002009-07-06T18:30:15.774-04:00@Max - I think we are pretty much on the same page...@Max - I think we are pretty much on the same page. I'm glad you disagreed with those women. Sometimes politcal agendas can take the place of common sense. Transracial adoptions can work if the parents are willing to embrace the child's ethnic background, instead of pretending it does not exist.<br /><br />As for the people discussing the MJ case, well I'm going to have to disagree with you a little here. True, most people are not being malicious, merely curious. I don't think you have to have malicious intent to be hurtful. That said - I've heard and seen a lot of people flat out say he was not the children's father. No, caveats at all - just he was not the father. Words carry a lot of weight.<br /><br />@ Bougie - I had a good relationship with my father, which is why I champion black fatherhood. My daughter will most likely have your experience and I wish I could spare her that. She will know her father, but based on his history, he will be unreliable. Which is worse? Not knowing your father or knowing him, but feeling like you aren't enough to make him love you the way a father should. Tough times ahead, but based on what I've been able extrapolate from your blog, comments etc. my little one has a good chance of becoming a fine young lady even without him.KSThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02594832284191260116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713119478510920016.post-15543240439454144452009-07-05T14:29:01.772-04:002009-07-05T14:29:01.772-04:00I like your title - Sperm meets Egg - does not a p...I like your title - Sperm meets Egg - does not a parent make. Parenthood goes beyond conception, it goes beyond signing the birth certificate or passing out cigars in the waiting room. Parenthood starts when an individual steps up and decides to love, protect and provide for a child regardless of what bloodlines run through the kid's veins. Perhaps Michael isn't the father of the kids - so what. One thing is for certain, he was definitely their daddy. <br /><br />As a female who did not know her father I say - kudos to Michael for stepping up and shining some fatherhood light into the lives of three children. I think my father and many others could learn a thing or two from how much Michael cared for his kids and didn't hesitate to step up and walk-the-walk of a real father.Bougie Applebumhttp://www.bougieapplebum.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6713119478510920016.post-86443162529616856902009-07-05T01:11:40.901-04:002009-07-05T01:11:40.901-04:00I never looked at it from the subject position of ...I never looked at it from the subject position of an adoptee.<br /><br />I remember attending a seminar or symposium, whatever it was defined as, given by a group of black feminists. I was with them until that time in which they began to rail against white families adopting black babies born from crack adicted mothers. Their position was that this practice simply recreated the old slave/master relationship in which all children born on the plantation belonged to the master and the master could do whatever he wished with the children. <br /><br />I dissented. My position was, and is, that the most basic need of the child was someone to love and nurture them, and it did not matter where that love and nurturance came from. If that crack addicted mother was not able provide the most basic needs due to circumstance, then so be it. Let whoever was willing and able to fulfill that child's needs do so. Furthermore, the slaves had no choice, while the crack addicted mother was partly responsible for her own circumstance.<br /><br />That being said, I only think it is natural for people to wonder about the circumstance of the children's birth. I don't think they do so maliciously. And I don't think in doing so they question whether or not Michael was the children's father in some form or another. From what little I know, those children have been with Michael from day 1. And again from what little I know, he has provided them unconditional love and nurturance, so whatever the circumstance, he is unconditionally their father.<br /><br />When I was growing up, there was an old saying in the black community--If you are not sure that you are the father, just keep feeding them until they finally look like you. When I was seven, my mother remarried, and my stepfather adopted me and gave me his name. Until I was grown and left his house, he fed me, and clothed me, and provided for my basic needs. And even now people who have no idea that he is not my biological father, comment on how much we favor.<br /><br />Peace,<br />MaxMax Reddickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09360630810931410487noreply@blogger.com